What was missing? Why I think this didn't work in the past... #weightloss

I had been in denial about my ever expanding waistline for a very long time. Sure I knew I was overweight, and I did diet here and there for a few weeks. But I always gave up somewhere along the line. No matter what the excuse, I always gave up.

Last February, it got so bad that I was missing out on life. I wanted someone to blame my doctor seemed like a great choice. In a lot of ways, that was how my weight loss journey began. But after the initial anger faded, I began to realize that my doctor was actually incredibly helpful and not at all the enemy I had made her into.

I'd like to say that I continued through sheer determination at that point, but I didn't. My motivation was all but gone and it wasn't long before I began to re-gain the weight I had lost.

I had a choice to make then: Do I face this, or give up again? I decided that making any choice was better than making no choice at all. No matter what I decided, the results would be my own. No more pointing fingers, no fad diets or magic beans, and no more excuses. If I failed, it would be MY failure, and if I succeeded it would be MY success.

So I took some time to really look at my life. I had to decide what I really wanted. Not what society said, and not what the doctor wanted... Did I really even want to lose weight?

It may seem like a silly question, especially from someone so overweight that there were noticeable negative impacts on my daily life and my health. But people get comfortable where they are, and choosing to leave that comfort isn't easy. I was comfortable. I had been overweight for all of my adult life and I wasn't sure what losing weight would mean.  Was I ready?

I think that was the key. That is what I was always missing. The choice! It had to be mine, and it had to be made. Otherwise I'd end up feeling like I had no control over it. It is far too easy to feel like a victim when you never make a choice. Well, victim time is over!

I would do this. But not like I did before. Gone are the days of following along like a mindless zombie. I would do this, but I would do it my way, and on my terms!